Just Breathe
A few weeks ago, while watching the Netflix movie The Prom, I was struck by the song “Just Breathe.” The main character, seventeen year old Emma Nolen, sings,
“Just close your eyes
And count to ten
Go to your happy place and then
Try not to combust
Just breathe”
(link to the song at bottom of the blog)
In this song, she describes the challenges of being gay in a town that does not accept her for who she is. Her mantra “Just breathe” is a reminder that she can overcome obstacles by trusting herself, taking a breath, and continuing to move forward without “combusting” or letting others bring her down. Although Emma’s message is simple, her reminder to just breathe is exactly what we all need sometimes.
Breathing is automatic and often something we are not consciously aware of doing in the moment. If we can inhale and exhale easily without thinking, why do we need reminders to “just breathe?” Paying attention to our breath and controlling it, can not only shift our physical state, but also our emotional one.
When individuals feel anxious, stressed, or fearful, their breathing becomes rapid and shallow. This fast paced breathing activates the sympathetic nervous system and triggers other physical responses such as an increase in stress hormones, blood pressure, and sweat production. The sympathetic nervous system is responsible for our fight/flight/freeze response. In order to restore our body and escape this response, we need to activate the parasympathetic nervous system by slowing our breath. The intentional elongation of the inhale and exhale calms our nervous system and improves our emotional state, with feelings of calm, clarity, and relaxation.
When Emma is trying not to combust, she is describing her sympathetic nervous system in a heightened state with a fight/flight/freeze response. Instead of “combusting,” she becomes present in her own body and reminds herself to breathe.
It is not always easy to “just breathe,” as Emma describes, especially if we are feeling angry, scared, upset or have experienced trauma. The first step to activating a calm mind-body state is practicing slow deep breaths when we are not triggered. Once we are comfortable using breath at times of calm, we can become better at accessing this breath during stressful situations. It is also important to become aware of those moments where you feel your heart racing and your breathing quicken. When we pay more attention to our breath, it becomes easier to be proactive by telling ourselves to take slow breaths when we notice a slight change in our breathing pattern or sense a potential trigger.
In my life, I notice that when my 8 month old daughter starts to cry, I feel stressed and my heart beats faster and my breathing quickens. In those moments, I remind myself to take a couple of slow deep breaths to calm my nervous system, which in turn helps my daughter calm down. She can feel my relaxed, calm presence and feel safe and secure. Breathing is so powerful that seeing, hearing, or feeling someone else’s breath can calm your own nervous system.
There are a lot of great breathing techniques out there, but you do not need to be an expert to reap the benefits of breath. In the song “Just Breathe,” Emma describes a simple breathing strategy of closing her eyes, counting to 10 and imagining something that makes her feel safe and happy. She suggests “a beach with golden sand, ” but a happy memory, favorite location, or a loved one works as well. Try Emma’s strategy and remind yourself to “just breathe” in those moments of stress or panic. If you are interested in learning additional breathing exercises to help you access your calm, relaxed state, stay tuned for next week where I will share a video of some of my favorite techniques.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhRe9pn4klc (original broadway cast recording of “Just Breathe”)